Biarkan Aku Berlari

jangan tunggu aku

aku akan tetap melaju

mau gapai mimpi ?

sekarang saatnya

dua puluh masih belum hari ini

ini dia, masa muda

biarkan, jangan batasi

tetap akan aku lewati, pasti

masih banyak yang ingin kucapai

tidak pun sedikit yang ingin kugapai

biarkan aku terbang

selagi masih ada ruang

tak ada batas tuk bermimpi

ini hanya soal keteguhan hati

jaga api itu agar tetap menyala

terus membara di jiwa seorang muda

aku akan pulang,

tapi belum sekarang.

--

dengan bara menyala tuk gapai asa,

Arif Nindito.

I really sorry i can't be there at your funeral, grandpa.

Inalillahi wainaillaihi rojiun. I just tried to sleep last night when my phone was ringing disturbing me. It was my cousin. She was crying, informing me that our grandfather has just passed away several minutes before.

Several days ago, i heard that he was hospitalized. But then two days ago, i heard that he was already okay. What can we say, it's destiny.

I realize that sometimes, distance keep you apart from some moments in life. It's just been almost two months since i arrive here in Amsterdam, and i already missed two moments, indeed. First, i already missed the togetherness of Idul Fitri celebration at my father's hometown in Medan. The whole family attended. Why by the time i were still there, only some family members going back to Medan for Idul Fitri and in contrast, by the time i'm here, the whole family were there ? It's just happened. It's meant to be.

And now, for the second time, i will miss my only left grandfather's funeral. He is my grandfather from my father. My grandpa from my mother already passed away in 2005 when i was in the first year of high school. Fortunately i don't miss both funeral. In fact it's is not all about the funeral itself, it's all about the feel that you shared with the rest of family members if you are there. I really want to fly back to Medan, if i could. But it seems unfeasible. Even if i could afford to buy, let say, an immediate ticket to fly back to Indonesia with EUR 1500 or even EUR 2000, in this very moment it doesn't help. There's something that money can't buy. Even if i can afford that, i will still simply miss the funeral though. The fact is that the flight to Kuala Lumpur takes about 13 hours and from Kuala Lumpur to Medan will take like 45 minutes. It takes almost a half of the day to just travel, changing planes, and so on. Even if i fly with my private jet (i wish i have it), still. I will still miss it. It's priceless.

That's what i refer as distance sets you apart from life moments. I believe that every single moments in life are meant to be. i believe that there's no such thing as coincidence. And this moment is also meant to be. I just meant to be to not be able to see you for the last time.

I really sorry i cant be there at your funeral, grandpa.

You are a real man. Truly inspiring, bleeding for your family, warm and takes life as a gift. Although we are not spending too much time together, i totally understood that you are someone. I can learn many things from you. Before i depart to pursue my degree to Netherlands, i already visit you and ask for your prayer. I saw you on my farewell testimonial video, but really sorry that the last time i saw you. I wish i could see you for one more time. You are a great 86-years old man. May Alloh SWT erase all of your sins and bless all of your good deeds. Rest in peace Mr.Kartowirono, for sure, we will miss you.

In the name of the distance that sets me apart for bearing you to your last rest place.

--

atas nama jarak yang memisahkanku untuk menggendongmu ke tempat peristirahatan terakhirmu,

Arif Nindito.

What a Dinner.

I fell asleep after having my crappy sushi this afternoon. It was 2 PM, then by 6 PM i waken up because i was hungry.

I was thinking that i would not have meat for tonight. Since the previous two nights before, i was not really succeeded to have a nice dinner with meat. Then for tonight, i decided to have Salmon.

It should contains protein, carbohydrate and fiber. So i checked my fridge, then i get my salmon off the freezer. Fortunately i just bought a instant ingredient for fish from Albert Heijn this afternoon. Put the salmon on the plate, pour the "powder" on it, then defrost it for around 5 minutes on microwave. Moreover, i boil the vegetables as i heat up my frying pan for the salmon. I prefer to use butter than cooking oil. After the salmon ready from de-froze, then that's the time for the potato to get into the microwave.

As in my any other cook, i make sure that the thing is well cooked, but not over cooked. Fish is easier to detect whether it is cooked yet or not rather than the meat. Then the veggies is ready, as well as the potato. Wait couples of minutes more for the fish, then there it goes.

And do you know hoe it taste ? it's just perfect, mate ! It was one of the most successful cook i ever made. And for dinner, few glasses of multi-fruit juice would be a perfect companion.

No girls to be with for dinner ? no problem. As long as i still have my dinner ready, i'm alive ;D

Today's Sushi

This morning was a bit messy. I got a class to attend on 9 AM this morning, but the fact is that i went to the bar last night until about 1 AM to have a chat with one of my Bulgarian friend, Nikolay. I was not late, but the consequence is that i was not be able to have my breakfast before go to class.

I had Introduction to Management Research, this morning. The class discussion was a bit lame. I was expecting something "more mature" comments from my Ducth fellows in my class. In spite the fact that some of them are doing pre-master program, sometimes, i found that their comments was too lame. like a kindergarten pupils.

Of course i was starving during the class. I paddled my bike relatively fast on my way back home. Although the sun was finally made to show up after two messed up days of raining, it was a bit cold today. I hit the Albert Hijn, restocking my fridge with some usual groceries. Moreover, i also bought sushi there. It cost me like 8 Euros.

I wrote this post while having my sushi. You know what, the taste was not good. The rice is lack of commitment ;D and the fish is not really fresh. But what can i expect from an 8 Euros supermarket's sushi ? nothing. It makes me miss the time i spent with my friends in one of the most popular sushi restaurant in my hometown, Jakarta. Yes, it was Sushi Tei. I missing the moment i spent with you there, guys.

Indeed, i miss the sushi. But, i miss the moment more than i miss the sushi ;(

Looking to that picture, then you will found out that i don't have any chopstick at my house here. Then i enjoying my crappy sushi today with PENCILS !

Ticket Lost.

It's been a week. I tried to figured out where is my KLM flight ticket to Jakarta. I end up today with the fact that i miss it somehow. it should be somewhere, but i dont know where it is. i lost it. meaning ? i am not going home that soon ;D

think about it

Happy = Give More, Expect Less.

A Perfect Saturday

September 19th. Saturday. 23 degrees, sunny and very warm. Just a perfect weather for Saturday. I woke up at around 10am after fall asleep again since around 6am after sahur this morning. Dishwashing, taking a shower then go to the city center to meet a friend from Den Haag. Today is weird. Since a week ago, Amsterdam got an average temperature of around 15 in the afternoon. and suddenly today, it got 23, which is very warm. i even don't need to put my jacket while riding my bike to the city center.

After i met Laras at Ledseplein, i went to two of my favorite english bookstores at Spui centrum. American Book Center at Spui 12, and Waterstone's at Kalvestraat 152. Those stores are housed in very nice buildings, both of them have 3 floors. Very nice ambience, really cozy, and have tremendous collection. Those store seem like to be my favorite spot for the next following years. ;) Today i bought "High Fidelity" by Nick Hornby. It seems like fun, light, and entertaining. Recently, I prefer that kind of book instead of my typical book of business, economy, and what so ever it is.

By the time i exit the American Book Center at Spui and walked to Kalverstraat, i suddenly attracted by the totally happy music i heard from the street. It was an old man with his big music machine ! The music it produced is really happy, unique and pumped up my mood. It is very cheering, though. I gave him EUR 1, and he replied with very big smile. I am happy. This very city is exciting, lively. Amsterdam got its own vibe in its own way. And i can say, i start to fall into it. i start enjoying Europe.

Moreover, tomorrow is Idul Fitri ! I will miss my mother, siblings and the rest of the family by tomorrow. And of course, i will miss the food also. Although this is my very first time having Idul Fitri away from home, it is still, Idul Fitri.. Let's Celebrate !