I really sorry i can't be there at your funeral, grandpa.

Inalillahi wainaillaihi rojiun. I just tried to sleep last night when my phone was ringing disturbing me. It was my cousin. She was crying, informing me that our grandfather has just passed away several minutes before.

Several days ago, i heard that he was hospitalized. But then two days ago, i heard that he was already okay. What can we say, it's destiny.

I realize that sometimes, distance keep you apart from some moments in life. It's just been almost two months since i arrive here in Amsterdam, and i already missed two moments, indeed. First, i already missed the togetherness of Idul Fitri celebration at my father's hometown in Medan. The whole family attended. Why by the time i were still there, only some family members going back to Medan for Idul Fitri and in contrast, by the time i'm here, the whole family were there ? It's just happened. It's meant to be.

And now, for the second time, i will miss my only left grandfather's funeral. He is my grandfather from my father. My grandpa from my mother already passed away in 2005 when i was in the first year of high school. Fortunately i don't miss both funeral. In fact it's is not all about the funeral itself, it's all about the feel that you shared with the rest of family members if you are there. I really want to fly back to Medan, if i could. But it seems unfeasible. Even if i could afford to buy, let say, an immediate ticket to fly back to Indonesia with EUR 1500 or even EUR 2000, in this very moment it doesn't help. There's something that money can't buy. Even if i can afford that, i will still simply miss the funeral though. The fact is that the flight to Kuala Lumpur takes about 13 hours and from Kuala Lumpur to Medan will take like 45 minutes. It takes almost a half of the day to just travel, changing planes, and so on. Even if i fly with my private jet (i wish i have it), still. I will still miss it. It's priceless.

That's what i refer as distance sets you apart from life moments. I believe that every single moments in life are meant to be. i believe that there's no such thing as coincidence. And this moment is also meant to be. I just meant to be to not be able to see you for the last time.

I really sorry i cant be there at your funeral, grandpa.

You are a real man. Truly inspiring, bleeding for your family, warm and takes life as a gift. Although we are not spending too much time together, i totally understood that you are someone. I can learn many things from you. Before i depart to pursue my degree to Netherlands, i already visit you and ask for your prayer. I saw you on my farewell testimonial video, but really sorry that the last time i saw you. I wish i could see you for one more time. You are a great 86-years old man. May Alloh SWT erase all of your sins and bless all of your good deeds. Rest in peace Mr.Kartowirono, for sure, we will miss you.

In the name of the distance that sets me apart for bearing you to your last rest place.

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atas nama jarak yang memisahkanku untuk menggendongmu ke tempat peristirahatan terakhirmu,

Arif Nindito.