Di Dalam Selimut, Ada Musuh.

Semuanya bisa tampak tersenyum di depan. Tapi kita tak pernah benar-benar tau apa agenda mereka. Di dalam semilut, ada musuh. Di dalam musuh, ada selimut. Dalam hidup itu biasa. Ada yang suka, ada pula yang mencerca.

Portfolio Theory of Romance

It is proven that market portfolio has a minimum risk. Diversified portfolio always has lower risk compared to un-diversified one. Therefore, we have to bear in mind that in any investment principle, low risk means low gain. In contrast, higher risk suppose to have a chance of higher gain.

Love is risky, so we can't play safe. The risk is there, and we just simply have to bear it. Too diversified portfolio is so last year. for me, 2010 is about pick your "selected stock" and see how it grow.

Done

Finally January will over soon. I'm done with my essay. Eleven pages, 4017 words, and 21 references. Would be enough, i already fed up.

For now, just take a short break. Chill and relax. Done !

Tea Spill

Shit happens sometimes. it always does. during long hours in the front of computer, especially in the public computer, you should not forget to take a break. a short break of 10 minutes for coffee or tea. but some other time, you also would like to have you cup of tea next to your mouse pad.

I brought my full cup of tea to my table. i putted it next to my mouse pad, and guess what happened ? yes, i spilled it to the keyboard of the computer. it was full, it was hot and it was quite sweet. what a combination.

But i think for many students who use the public computer on the library, by the time you spill something on the keyboard, it means you just started a some sort kind of relation with that workstation. it is like dating, spill-a-drink-and-say-sorry moment is just the beginning ;)

Singel 425

Hampir tumbang
Semangat pun sempat tergoyang

Keluh bercampur peluh di ruang perpustakaan
Empat minggu sudah ku bergelut dengan tumpukan kertas berkalimat panjang yang kadang tak tentu tujuan


Terus tatap susunan kata di layar, tak ada yang keluar
Terus coba tuliskan hasil pemikiran, belum juga terselesaikan

Biar dulu ku bertahan sampai ke penghabisan
Walau dengan sisa-sisa asa yang ada

Ingin lekas ku isi kembali jiwa ini dengan daya juang
Jakarta, aku pulang

Sepertinya

Menurut ku kamu orang yang menyenangkan

Cerdas, ringan, namun berkesan

Tapi sepertinya aku masih harus menunggu

Karena ku masih melihat wajahmu di halaman facebook mantan pacarmu

Your eyes trick you

Today is a nice sunny winter day. The sky is clear. Wind blows smoothly. No snow, no rain. Nothing. I was thinking just to wear a thin sweater and no scarf. But i changed my mind. I'm going out fully equipped, even with my leather glove. And i am right. It is still cold outside ;)

Lesson to learn : never believe in physical appearance at the first place. you really have to feel it first, before you believe in what you see.

Harusnya

saat kau mulai tanyakan arti hidup dengan status-statusmu

aku pun mulai maknai eksistensi hidupku dengan studi ku

harusnya kita bertukar kata

berbagi cerita

entah sugesti atau realita

tapi tampaknya memang belum waktunya

Bunda Piara

Bila kuingat lelah
ayah bunda
Bunda piara piara akan daku
sehingga aku besarlah

Waktuku kecil hidupku
amatlah senang
senang dipangku dipangku dipeluknya
serta dicium dicium dimanjakan
namanya kesayangan

--

cipta Ibu Sud.

Pita Hitam.

Baru saja pukul 6.30 pagi GMT +1, saat saya terbangun dari tidur karena getaran telepon genggam yang terus menerus. Rupanya kawan-kawan di jakarta sedang berbincang soal rapat dengar Pansus DPR dengan Menteri Keuangan, Sri Mulyani Indrawati.

Karena penasaran, lantas saya menjoba streaming liputan langsungnya yang disiarkan di MetroTV. Baru beberapa menit menonton, saya sudah merasa miris hatinya. Beginikah cara mereka mewakili rakyat di kursi parlemen ? sebuah fenomena yang menurut saya adalah suatu ironi yang amat tidak pantas bagi proses pembelajaran tata cara berkenegaraan di Indonesia.

Saya memang bukan seorang mahasiswa yang ahli soal tata negara, hukum, dan politik. Tapi setidaknya saya tahu tentang ekonomi. Dan setidaknya lagi, saya pernah diajari tata krama.

Mengapa ini menjadi penting untuk mari bersama kita cermati ? saya hanya ingin mengedepankan dua aspek; content and context. atau awam nya : isi dan cara.

Yang pertama soal content. Buat saya cukup mencengangkan bila anggota parlemen kita (baca:DPR), khususnya anggota pansus persoalan bank century, menanyakan pertanyaan tanpa memiliki pengetahuan yang cukup atas duduk permasalahannya. Saya merasa mereka tidak benar-benar paham dan mengerti sepenuhnya arti dari jargon-jargon yang mereka pakai sendiri. Apakah mereka benar-benar paham arti kata "sistemik" ? apa mereka mengerti bagaimana cara perekonomian bekerja ? apa landasan pengetahuan makroekonomi mereka sudah mumpuni ? apa mereka sudah membaca undang-undang perbankan sebelumnya ? dan masih banyak lagi daftar keraguan saya atas kerangka berpikir mereka. Karena alasan itu, rapat dengar ini menurut saya menjadi seperti kuliah umum dimana mahasiswa yang bertanya belum sempat membaca materi kuliah yang dipaparkan. Hasilnya ? pertanyaan bodoh yang keluar. Penyelamatan atau bail-out sebuah bank dengan nilai 6,7 trilluin rupiah yang nyatanya tidak sama sekali merugikan negara dikritisi habis-habisan. Ditelanjangi entah dari perspective mana.

Apakah mereka benar-benar paham alasan dari keputusan tersebut. Mengapa langkah pencegahan sama sekali lebih tidak dihargai dibanding langkan penanggulangan ? Salah satu dari mereka (anggota pansus) bertanya apa pengaruhnya bank dengan total asset 11 trilluin berpengaruh terhabat kapitalisasi ekonomi Indonesia yang hari ini berada di angka sekitar 10,800 trilliun (mohon dikoreksi kalau ada kesalahan data). Saya jadi tertawa mendengarnya. Seperti yang saya utarakan sebelumnya, mereka faham betul tidak arti kata sistemik ? mungkin terdengar sumbang, tapi saya sarankan mereka banyaklah belajar. baca lah itu jurnal-jurnal ilmiah yang ada. baca buku-buku teks perekonomian. jangan hanya baca perkembangan berita pemilu dan politik. tingkatkan lah taraf pengetahuan kalian ! upgrade lah pendidikan kalian, wahai anggota dewan yang terhormat ! Apakah perekonomian Indonesia hari ini ada di dalam keterpurukan krisis ? apakah sistem perbankan kita collapse ? tidak bapak-bapak anggota dewan ! ekonomi kita hari ini masih tumbuh 4,21 % disaat kebanyakan perekonomian dunia tumbuh negatif, saudara-saudara !

Itu soal content atau isi, sekarang saya mau bicara soal context atau cara. Yang saya dengar, banyak dari para anggota dewan kita yang punya titel sarjana, magister bahkan doktoral. Yang menjadi tanda tanya besar bagi saya adalah, dimana etika mereka ? itukah cara mereka bertanya dan meminta keterangan dari seseorang ? itu bukan rapat dengar namanya, itu interogasi ! Ayolah bapak-bapak anggota dewan yang terhormat. Sri Mulyani Indrawati toh bukan orang yang tidak berpendidikan. Gelar doktoral bidang ekonomi moneter dari University of Illinois, Urbana-Champaign bukanlah suatu gelar biasa-biasa. Tidak semua orang bisa kesana untuk belajar.

Saya menyaksikan hilangnya tata krama mereka. Itu bukan cara bertanya orang-orang yang berpendidikan. That's not the way educated people questioning someone. Tak perlu lah tinggi-tinggi jenjang pendidikannya, saya yakin di SMP saja pasti sudah diajarkan cara menghargai pendapat orang lain, cara berbicara bergantian, dan cara berdiskusi dengan santun. Saya yakin, rapat RT di desa-desa di pedalaman Indonesia masih lebih santun dari cara mereka bertanya. Padahal mereka bukan orang yang berpendidikan tinggi. Malah banyak yang tidak sekolah sama sekali. Pertanyaan yang diulang-ulang, interupsi yang tidak perlu, komentar yang tidak sepantasnya, hal-hal ini lah yang menurut saya jauh dari high standard moral ground. Mereka sama sekali tidak punya etika dan manner. Menghakimi layaknya menghakimi maling ayam saja. Saya yakin semua orang yang menonton siaran itu akan tertawa menyaksikan fenomena ini. Anggota DPR kita tidak santun kawan-kawan ! Saya yakin betul bila guru SD mereka menyaksikan, mereka pasti akan teriris hatinya. Dimana nilai-nilai budi pekerti yang dianjarkan di bangku Sekolah Dasar dulu ?

Pesan yang ingin saya sampaikan adalah, jangan kita teruskan tatanan-tananan tak berbudaya seperti itu di negara kita. Saya tidak skeptis soal profesi sebagai anggota DPR, tapi jadilah anggota DPR yang benar dan berbudi ! Seharusnya parlemen kita itu diisi para intelektual, orang-orang yang berpendidikan, yang bermoral baik. Mereka bermuka dua ! kalau bagian "menyelamatkan perekonomian nasional", semua mau ikut dapat nama baik. semua bilang mendukung. tapi kontradiktif disaat mereka bilang "mau menyelamatkan perekonomian", tapi bail-out bank yang nyatanya dilakukan secara prosudural dicaci, dimaki dan dihujat tiada habisnya oleh mereka sendiri. inkonsistensi.

Walaupun sulit, reformasi birokrasi amat diperlukan. Mindset dan mentalitas anggota dewan itu perlu dirubah. Mereka seharusnya memiliki mindset dan mentality yang solutive. bukan hanya berputar-putar di masalah dan mencari kambing hitam. sebagai generasi muda, kita memiliki tanggung jawab moral atas hal itu.

Terakhir, karena saya tidak kuat hati untuk menyaksikan lanjutan siaran langsungnya, saya hanya bisa bantu doa. Melihat ibu Sri Mulyani dihakimi di DPR, sama rasanya seperti melihat ibu saya sendiri di-dzolimi. Yang lebih parah, ini tindakan dzolim berjamaah. Saya tidak dapat membayangkan seberapa tegar beliau, saya saja yang menonton dari jarak ribuan kilometer tidak dapat berhenti mencaci. Allohuakbar ! kebeneran pasti datang dan pasti akan dutunjukkan. Ternyata anggota DPR kita perlu disekolahkan lagi kawan-kawan !

--

atas nama pemuda yang peduli akan bangsanya,

Arif Nindito.

The new weekend experience, ever.

Well, very good morning fellas ! it is a gloomy Sunday morning, 10.46 am, GMT +1 time. I just felling like starting my day with write a post on this blog about my new weekend experience ever, this morning. Let me begin with the description of the situation. As i said, it is a gloomy Sunday morning in Amsterdam. According to Accuweather.com, it is believed that now it is 0 degrees Celcius outside. It is snowing intensively with humidity of 93%, wind blowing 38 km/h towards North East, and visibility of 8 km as well as air pressure of 102 KPA. I think that's more than enough for the weather forecast.

For your information, this is my first winter ever. I just moved to a four-seasons country for like just five months. This winter might be the first for me, but according to many newspaper and TV news, it is one of the worst and coldest for Europe in last few decades. I can't agree more agree with that. It caused chaos in transportation system. Airports were shut, trains stops, traffic jam, and so on.

As i promise on my last post, i would like to discuss more about my "study", in order to balance the "beyond" contents of this blog. Then let's start my story of this weekend. As i approaching new year's holiday, i have been packed with exams preparation and many assignments due. Nothing can't be worse than a Finance exam in the end of December, 6 pm, snowing, freezing, even worse, the location of the exam is far from city center. Then come christmas and new year. well, i would say that it was not that special for me, but i had a good time with my friends and family as well.

I started January with a bit of sorrow and homesick feelings. Fortunately it was just last for like two days. After i phoned my mother, everything is back on track. I love you mother. hehe. At first, i have two final essay assignments due at the end of the first week of January and also i started what so called as "business study project 1 : literature review". From its name, i'm sure i gonna deal with a lot of works, reading many journals, as well as writing reviews. And it is too good to be true.

As i also have posted before, to be honest, the intensity, pace and academic rigor of my study here is somehow more difficult compare to my previous university study experience. I believe that no more i can do other than keep up my pace and just simply do my best efforts. Hence, i found that this weekend is one of the manifestations of that. Yesterday was Saturday, i just spending my whole day at home for cooking and eating from the time i woke up in the morning until the late afternoon. For me, eating is the only way to beat the cold, though. At first, i was thinking like to spend my Saturday night with my cousin, beat the cold and have some food and chit chat. But since i still have two essays due at the beginning of next week, i decided to dedicate my Saturday night at my bedroom and doing my stuffs. In fact, it was not a good weather to going out last night. so, i think i have a quite good reason to stay home. hehe.

To be honest, last night was my first time ever to spend a Saturday night to study ! doing my whole life being a student, no matter what in school as well as university, i have never ever spending my Saturday night to study ! it was a taboo thing to do for me. with no exception. no matter how bad the situation is, i always spend my saturday night with friends or family. But last night, i spent my Saturday evening reviewing several articles as well as writing my essay and i finished like around midnight. In fact, it was not as bad as i imagined, though. But somehow i still amazed with myself because finally i did it. Yes, saturday night studying. ;D to be honest, i would say that i'm doing it not because i want to, but it was because i have to.

More excitingly, i have on more experience to tell. Last night, since i only finish my first essay and still have one more essay to do, i checked the website of my university library. it says it is open on Sunday from 10 am - 5 pm. Since i need the access to the academic journal and database, i was thinking like "why not spending my Sunday at the university library by tomorrow ?". at first i was saying "no way, Arif Nindito. Come on, it is Sunday, for God's sake." but then by the time i woke up this morning, i feel like i really have to go there to, again, do my stuffs. So then, here i am, in the front of one of many computer screens at the university library on this such gloomy sunday morning, writing my blog post. hehe.

To wrap up, spending the Saturday night studying, as well as enjoying Sunday on the library are totally new experiences for me. I would never ever do these kind of things during my time in Indonesia. I promise i wouldn't. But somehow, although not with a full heart of mine, i enjoy it. Maybe it is what it takes to study at one of the world's best 50 universities ;P

I always believe that i must live in balance. Of course i know that spending Sunday at the library is not my ideal way of enjoying weekend, though. But, i have to tell you fellas, one of the most distracting as well as relaxing thing about spending a day at the university library of Universiteit van Amsterdam is the chicks ! sometimes i also wondering what the fcuk are these gorgeous ladies doing here in the library. i believe that they must be better to be there on the photograph taking sessions as the fashion models. hehehe. It is a nice fact, as well, that they are young, gorgeous, and intelligent looking. i don't know whether they are really that "intelligent" or not. but, who cares ? this library offers many good features for its students and visitors. but for me, the chicks is one of the most fascinating features of it. hehehe. Enjoy your Sunday !

Gravity

Gravity is working against me
And gravity wants to bring me down

Oh I'll never know what makes this man
With all the love that his heart can stand
Dream of ways to throw it all away

Oh Gravity is working against me
And gravity wants to bring me down

Oh twice as much ain't twice as good
And can't sustain like a one half could
It's wanting more
That's gonna send me to my knees

Oh gravity, stay the hell away from me
And gravity has taken better men than me (now how can that be?)

Just keep me where the light is
Just keep me where the light is
Just keep me where the light is
C'mon keep me where the light is
C'mon keep me where the light is
Oh... where the light is !

--

John Mayer

Redefined learning paradigm

As the title of this blog is "Study and Beyond", i expect to write anything about my experience during my time studying abroad including all aspects of it on this blog. Therefore, i found that so far, i never write anything about the "real" study thing. If i would give the analogy of writing about food, so far, what i wrote, has just been the "sauces" of my study. Hence, i never write about the "meat" of my study yet.

At first, i thought, studying abroad at the university level is just another university study but in a totally different circumstances of environment and so on. Well, it is totally true. As i already wrote many times in this blog, it dealing with many differences of the environment. Starting with the most obvious thing like the weather climate, to more subtle issue like values differences. These things, of course, would make your study experience more challenging. That's if we would like to talk about the "sauce" of my study here.

Moreover, if we would like to talk about the "meat" of my study, i also found many substantial differences. The most obvious difference between my academic setting here and the setting at my home country is the academic term. i used to study under semester-long term, which gives me 14 weeks to cover all materials of a specific course. In contrast, here, i have to suit my self to study under the quarter term system which only gives me 7 weeks to cover all of the materials of the course. To be real, it is totally fast. You really need to keep the pace. Otherwise, i think, you gonna easily flunk. The consequences of this rapid and steady system is that everything gonna be shorter and faster.

I gonna elaborate more about what does it really means by "shorter and faster". First, you can't expect that much from your lecturer. You really need to cover most of the materials by yourself. Make sure you already read the material beforehand (before the class) because the lecturer would not cover those things in depth. They gonna only explaining the outlines and the only way to go deep is by raising question. The the thing is, how could you raise a question without knowing what you wanna ask. Second, you gonna need to spend more time reading the book by yourself. In case of me, i used to "eat" a textbook within 14 weeks. But now, i have to "eat" it within only 7 weeks. No mid-term exam, nothing. 7 weeks, then final exam. that's it. There are also several minor challenges, but i think those two are the most important.

Above, i explained more about the practical thing. Well, i think the more fundamental difference that i experience is the difference in the nature of the university study itself. what i mean by this is that in Indonesia, somehow, i experienced that they still teach you many practical things in the university. In case of my field of business, they will still teach you practical things about business like how to write a business plan and so on. I think it is more American approach of business education being implemented in Indonesia, especially on my previous school of Fakultas Ekonomi Universitas Indonesia. I'm not saying that they are not teach you practical stuff in the curriculum, but in contrast, instead of teaching you how to write a business plan, they prefer to teach me how to write a research proposal. I think this is typical European approach of business education as a science in university level. Otherwise you enrolled in MBA program, i believe they will teach you more academic and theoretical stuff than practical things in BSc or MSc programs. In short, get yourself used to academic journals instead of business magazines, and academic papers instead of company management's reports.

To be honest, it is a totally new settings for me. I'm not used to it. Therefore, i take it as new challenge. I felt, somehow, it is really intellectually challenging. Back there, they use to teach me to be a businessman or a manager. Now, the teach me to become a researcher in the field of business. They want me to become a social scientist. ;D *lol*. Maybe this is how the university study should be like. In fact, university should be dealing with the issue of knowledge creation instead of simply use and apply it. Then now, i gonna discuss how those differences also require different approaches.

Before i departed, i already know that during my study here, i should give more efforts than what i used to gave back there. For a student with a lack of study time like me, the overall GPA 3.18 over 4 was a not-bad achievement. I used to only study during the exam period, but of course i did my assignments. Although i already knew it that i have to change my habit, i still didn't change it after like five months studying here. The result is even to pass the course is quite hard. I passed the courses i took, but it was just passing. I can't excel with that same-old same-old approach of study.

I know that i need to improve my learning abilities and efforts in order to achieve my academic goal. Fortunately i also still have several other interest other than just business and economics, i also interest in the field of education. several weeks ago, i found a paper from Carlos M. Rodriguez that discussing about the importance of academic self-concept and the outcome expectation in regard to academic performance of university students. I found it very interesting. I also attended the seminar about study skills provided by the university few weeks ago, i know the concept, but i still not applying 100%. And today, i feel like i have dig more about improving my study skills.

I need to, again, learn how to learn.

I believe that there's no such term as "late" to learn. That's why today i look up at the psychology of learning section of the library and found out a book titled "How to Study in College" by Walter Pauk. The book was published in 1974, but i found that the content is still totally relevant today. Now i totally realized that to keep up in the university, it is not enough to just study like the way i did it since elementary school until the first two years of my university study. improvement on my study skills is unavoidable.

I have to redefining my learning paradigm, sharping my academic settings, and tuning my study skills. It is not enough to just be able to read and write. it is more about how you read and how you write. well, i agree that it's not always necessarily to study hard. therefore, i believe that we all have to study effectively and efficiently. I should be an independent learner, more self-regulated student, and a life-long learning person. Moreover, in order to perform academically, i am not only need the skills, but also the more important thing is the motivation; which insyaallah i already have enough. The issue of learning is a whole complete system that includes psychological, sociological, practical and even spiritual aspects.

In conclusion, i have to redefine my learning paradigm. There are still a lot of things that i would like to share about this particular subject. I promise to write more about it in the future. But for now, since my clock already shows 00.30 a.m GMT +1, i really need to sleep. It suppose to be a part of time-management, which is also very important in study. hehe ;D

Never stop learning and improving our learning capacity as well as capability. As Walter Pauk said, "Only you can educate yourself."

Thumb Rules

#1. Never take a step that you are not sure about that.
#2. Once you feel sure about what you going to do, go for it, and finish what you started.
#3. At the end, we should win like a man and lose like a man.

Don't do win like a man, but lose like a chicken. In fact, what differ man and coward is their attitude towards losing. As long as you give your best effort, no matter what the result is, there is no reason to be shame. Keep our head up and walk like a champion because you already did your best. Once again, it is head up; not chin up. In Bahasa we said : "Tetap busungkan dada, dan tegakkan kepala.."

Mother

I will never have sufficient words to talk about my mother. She is one of the most wonderful things that ever happen to me. She is the most magnificent person that God ever sent to my life. I think the same things also apply to any single mothers on earth. If there is such a phrase as "wonder women", that should be mothers.

I even rambling to pick words and stories i would like to share by the time it comes about my mother. I just simply run out of words, sentences, phrases and paragraphs. At this very moment i write this post, i do really miss my mother. Especially in a day when i am 11,360 kilometres away from my mother, i really miss her hugs.

What does the mother's hug have to do to a person like Arif Nindito ? I think about that question and come up with the answer that, to hug my mother is always be a simple thing that brings big deals to me. No matter what.

To hug my mother is always calm my heart down. No matter how harsh life harms me. No matter how cruel the calamity of life can be. No matter how bitter life's reality feels to me. It always calm me down and bring me peacefulness. And it will always be.

Mother's hug is a blessing for me. It is a thing that i love to have in a good time, and even more in a bad time. It brings strength to me. It gives peace in my heart, but at the time also burning my spirit. A spirit that i always carry on. She always said that, maybe life is not always be the way you want it to be like. There's always ups and downs on it. It just like reading a story in a book. You can't skip. You should go through chapter by chapter on it with patience, persistence and perseverance. Because at the end, only the strong survive.

For many times, life do me no good. But i believe that strength is all i need. Mentality strength is the only thing that can make me stand in facing, struggling and coping with every single life challenges. Your message is clear, Mother. I just need to hold on and keep going strong.

--

To my mother, Diah Saraswati. You are one of the most wonderful things that ever happen to my life.

Arif Nindito