Mother

I will never have sufficient words to talk about my mother. She is one of the most wonderful things that ever happen to me. She is the most magnificent person that God ever sent to my life. I think the same things also apply to any single mothers on earth. If there is such a phrase as "wonder women", that should be mothers.

I even rambling to pick words and stories i would like to share by the time it comes about my mother. I just simply run out of words, sentences, phrases and paragraphs. At this very moment i write this post, i do really miss my mother. Especially in a day when i am 11,360 kilometres away from my mother, i really miss her hugs.

What does the mother's hug have to do to a person like Arif Nindito ? I think about that question and come up with the answer that, to hug my mother is always be a simple thing that brings big deals to me. No matter what.

To hug my mother is always calm my heart down. No matter how harsh life harms me. No matter how cruel the calamity of life can be. No matter how bitter life's reality feels to me. It always calm me down and bring me peacefulness. And it will always be.

Mother's hug is a blessing for me. It is a thing that i love to have in a good time, and even more in a bad time. It brings strength to me. It gives peace in my heart, but at the time also burning my spirit. A spirit that i always carry on. She always said that, maybe life is not always be the way you want it to be like. There's always ups and downs on it. It just like reading a story in a book. You can't skip. You should go through chapter by chapter on it with patience, persistence and perseverance. Because at the end, only the strong survive.

For many times, life do me no good. But i believe that strength is all i need. Mentality strength is the only thing that can make me stand in facing, struggling and coping with every single life challenges. Your message is clear, Mother. I just need to hold on and keep going strong.

--

To my mother, Diah Saraswati. You are one of the most wonderful things that ever happen to my life.

Arif Nindito

Warm tea during a pouring rain Sunday afternoon.

Now, i finally understand why Europeans are big fans of tea and coffee. It is Sunday afternoon, at the beginning of December. Rain is pouring down outside, with the temperature of 10 degrees celcius. It is not a really good weather for Sunday. Yes, it is not. But i think i can't expect a better day during early winter in this lowlands of central europe.

Dark clouds and grey sky. Cups of warm early grey english tea, accompanied with a piece of chocolate croissant, with melodies of Saint Germain des Pres Cafe sounded smoothly from my iTunes. A combination that will perfectly warm your body as well as your soul. What a mellow Sunday afternoon.

Relieve

I've been suffering for cold since like two days ago. For the last two days, i practically done nothing except eat and sleep. Cough, sore throat, runny nose, nasal congestion and sneezing. I have it all. I've been attending no class since Monday.

Last night, after dinner, i logged on into my facebook to just seeing around. by coincidence, i saw one of my ex-girlfriend was still online. i chatted with her, asking why she still up at like around 3.30 a.m (her local time). we chatted about several things, especially about the future life. i told her that lately, i've been interested in a girl that seems just too sophisticated for me. This young lady is coming from a very decent family background, nice person, well-behaved and i assume that she's a good muslimah, as well. Me as a person who always been optimistic, prudent and visionary, sometimes and somehow feel like being nobody by this circumstances. Somehow during these times, i feel like being delusional about this young lady.

Then she said to me, "Nobody knows how the future will be.. Good luck then with that young lady". I told her that's the different between men and women by citing my favorite quote from a German writer, Johann Wolfgang von Goethe. He said :

"Girls we love for what they are; Young men for what they promise to be."

It took like two seconds before she replied with, "you are a promising young man kok.. hehehe.. lol". i replied with even bigger laughter. but to be honest, the second i read it, it was totally relieving. i even felt like being injected with a tremendous spirit booster. it was awaking. it was just feels so good to read that phrase. somehow, it was calming, as well.

And she was right. Nobody knows how's the future gonna be like. Whom you gonna end up for the rest of your life with. That's what i believed as The Almighty's destiny. Just live it up with your best efforts. I gonna always remember that phrase. The phrase that not only relive my cold, but also relieve me from my scattered few weeks. Thank you. Your words relieve me.

It was calming me last night to go to bed. And it boosting my mood and new spirit by the time i woke up this morning. It was magical. I don't know why and how. Just a magical single phrase by another young lady. I said to my self, let me fight and finish this cold and get back to my classes and school works. Let me get myself back. Myself who always been optimistic, prudent and visionary. The Arif Nindito with the restless fighting spirit, the real me. Let me first conquer my world, and after that, i'm going home. Let me go home.

My November.

For most of the time, November is always special for me. Maybe because i were born in November, or maybe because it is just simply special. People talk about this month in movie, like Sweet November, and song, November Rain.

And this November, i experience many exciting things. I celebrated my 20th birthday this month. For the first time, i celebrated abroad. The school works was intense and become more demanding. I do quite a lot of shopping. To be honest, i financially bleeding this month. I went to Den Haag quite often this month, three times. Eat out too much. I'm broke, but i'm happy.

Especially this weekend, it is very enjoyable. I've been struggling with school works since Monday till Thursday eve. Then i finally finish my work on Friday morning, went to the Mosque for Friday prayer, then hit the gym. On the friday night in Family Trimo's house, there's a family gathering before the parents departing to Hajj by the following morning. It was nice. Although i feel a bit tired after the gym, we talked, we eat, we laugh, we pray together. We together circled around in the living room to read Surat Yasin, pray for the best of the pilgrimage.

On the following day, in the morning, i went to the Schipol Airport. And at night, i went to Den Haag to attend Daniel Sahuleka live performance. The performance was intimate with approximately 100 attendance in a small-but-nice theater of De Rogentes. It was touching. The melody, the soul of the songs, the lyrics, the ambience. Daniel has brought my feeling to the sense of harmony with his magnificent combination of wonderful voice tone and guitar melody.

The vibe was so strong. He delivered many of his hits brilliantly. Songs like Don't Sleep Away, If I Didn't, I Adore You, You Make My World So Colorful, Anak Kecil, Jakarta, etc. being delivered with vigorous emotions. Soulful.

This is my November. The weather is messing. It's raining a lot, it's wet. The scent of the rain is what i like for the most. The school work is intense, but the concert is great as well. It's not winter yet, but summer is over. It may turns me wet outside, but it always warm me inside. It's November.

When it getting rough.

i want to figure out what i made of. push it to the limit, or maybe exceed it. life will getting rough ahead, keep being logical, rational and focus. so, let's start get accustom to uncertainty. since life itself is uncertain. nothing certain except death. one more thing to keep in mind, you will never walk alone. at the end, it's a matter of self proving.

for those my beloved persons still at home, just watch me and support. i am here, outside our home door. in the real world that i still don't know where it will takes me. i am sorry if they talk too much about me. i'm sure they love each of us equally. i'm gonna be okay here. therefore you guys, please just be good at home.

it will be the nicest gift on my birthday. especially this year, i turn from 19 to 20. nothing can't be better except a taste of real life. just watch out. welcome real life with all of its tastes ! you wanna play rough on me ? i will play even rougher toward you !

Biarkan Aku Berlari

jangan tunggu aku

aku akan tetap melaju

mau gapai mimpi ?

sekarang saatnya

dua puluh masih belum hari ini

ini dia, masa muda

biarkan, jangan batasi

tetap akan aku lewati, pasti

masih banyak yang ingin kucapai

tidak pun sedikit yang ingin kugapai

biarkan aku terbang

selagi masih ada ruang

tak ada batas tuk bermimpi

ini hanya soal keteguhan hati

jaga api itu agar tetap menyala

terus membara di jiwa seorang muda

aku akan pulang,

tapi belum sekarang.

--

dengan bara menyala tuk gapai asa,

Arif Nindito.

think about it

Happy = Give More, Expect Less.

A Perfect Saturday

September 19th. Saturday. 23 degrees, sunny and very warm. Just a perfect weather for Saturday. I woke up at around 10am after fall asleep again since around 6am after sahur this morning. Dishwashing, taking a shower then go to the city center to meet a friend from Den Haag. Today is weird. Since a week ago, Amsterdam got an average temperature of around 15 in the afternoon. and suddenly today, it got 23, which is very warm. i even don't need to put my jacket while riding my bike to the city center.

After i met Laras at Ledseplein, i went to two of my favorite english bookstores at Spui centrum. American Book Center at Spui 12, and Waterstone's at Kalvestraat 152. Those stores are housed in very nice buildings, both of them have 3 floors. Very nice ambience, really cozy, and have tremendous collection. Those store seem like to be my favorite spot for the next following years. ;) Today i bought "High Fidelity" by Nick Hornby. It seems like fun, light, and entertaining. Recently, I prefer that kind of book instead of my typical book of business, economy, and what so ever it is.

By the time i exit the American Book Center at Spui and walked to Kalverstraat, i suddenly attracted by the totally happy music i heard from the street. It was an old man with his big music machine ! The music it produced is really happy, unique and pumped up my mood. It is very cheering, though. I gave him EUR 1, and he replied with very big smile. I am happy. This very city is exciting, lively. Amsterdam got its own vibe in its own way. And i can say, i start to fall into it. i start enjoying Europe.

Moreover, tomorrow is Idul Fitri ! I will miss my mother, siblings and the rest of the family by tomorrow. And of course, i will miss the food also. Although this is my very first time having Idul Fitri away from home, it is still, Idul Fitri.. Let's Celebrate !

Nyoman Aditya Prakasa

Dit, cepet banget sih perginya..
gue kaget pas kemaren malem dikabarin lo masuk rumah sakit karena kecelakaan mobil.
dan sempet ga percaya pas tadi pagi dikabarin lo udah ga ada.

emang kita ga terlalu deket sih ya dit,
tapi gue inget kita pernah jalan bareng ke PIM sama Pamung sama Rangga Gandina

lo salah satu orang paling ramah yang pernah gue kenal dit. suer.
tiap ketemu orang di koridor kampus, pasti lo tegor..
dan yang bikin special buat gue, lo afal nama nama panjang gue,
dan selalu nyapa gue dengan nama belakang gue
"Hoi Nindito.."
jarang banget dit temen gue yang nyapa gue dengan manggil nama belakang gue,
malah mungkin cuma elo di kampus..

sayang kita ga sempet ngobrol sebelom gue berangkat kesini,
tapi waktu itu kan gue udah kasih tau gue mau pindah ke belanda.

kecepetan dit,
umur kita baru 20
tapi gue tau lo orang baik, makanya Tuhan mau buru-buru ketemu lo.
tenang dit, ini Ramadhan.. Lo pasti dapet tempat enak disana.

sekali lagi Tuhan kasih liat ke gue kalo takdir emang ga bisa ditolak,
even cuma satu detik pun.
ga bisa lebih lambat satu detik, dan juga ga bisa lebih cepet satu detik.
tua, muda, sama aja.
dimana aja, kapan aja.

sori gue ga bisa ikutan ngelayat,
nanti kalo gue liburan ke jakarta, gue bakal ziarah ke makam lo.

selamat jalan dit,
Alloh SWT pasti tau apa yang terbaik buat kita semua.

--
with my deepest condelesence for Nyoman Aditya Prakasa and his family members,

Arif Nindito.

Years of Gentleman

Sky is still so grey this morning, and I am still a teenager by the time i write this. Yes, i am still 19. I just wanna share some thought in my head about last few months of my life. I wanna share my thoughts about my current issues and also maybe few about the future.

The consequences of being a type-7 person for me is that you can't stop thinking about your life, your dream and your future. Some people might say it is silly, but for me, i found it as the thing that make me alive. Thinking, dreaming, making a plan, then stick to it, is already in my nerves since i was a junior-high-schooler.

I consider my self as a person who having a very high level of self-serving bias. That according to my psychology class' professor, is healthy for me.

The last few months was quite rough, let say. After i received my acceptance letter, I have to totally struggle to past the Cost Accounting class in the short semester as my last attempt to make my transfer. I also have to undergone some financial process issues in my family regarding the funding of my future study. And yes of course, i undergone those few last feel-quite-blue days before i depart here.

Well, finally i am here right now. I finally, and again, living what i've been planned. And this very moment of life has been a quantum leap in my life history.

I am finally took a full control of my life, now.

Although in some sort it is not always be that nice, but most of the times, yes it is nice to have a full control of you life with you. This circumstance is always followed by one word; RESPONSIBILITY.

Once you gain a full control of our life, you have to always bear in mind that you have to be responsible with it. You should carry a huge amount of responsibility that you can pay to your stakeholders. You should be able to be responsible for every decision you make, regardless on what condition you made that decision, at the end, you have to be responsible for your call, anyway.

As i said, you should be able to be responsible to your stakeholders. In case of me, i have to be responsible for my decision to studying abroad that cost my parents lot of money. I have to be responsible to my study, to my parents, to my life, and more importantly, i have to be responsible to God. God already gave me a although not perfect, a wonderful life. God also give Priceless worth of health. And last but not least, God also already gave me, although not that brilliant, a working mindset.

There is no reason to not be really grateful. And there is also no reason to run away from the responsibilities i have to carry on. I already made my call, then i will be fully responsible for it. This is what i called as The Years of Gentleman.

When the Sky is Grey

What a shitty weather that Amsterdam has today. It's a catastrophic combination of pouring rain, heavy wind blow, and sun light. What kind of weather they're having here. According to accuweather.com which I always check every morning, the temperature for today is 15 degrees (highest) and 11 degrees (lowest). I guess it would be another particular student life day of mine.

I started my day by woke up late. I just skipped the shower and directly go to class by bus and metro instead of bike. The earliest class here starts at 9.00 a.m, not like in Depok where the morning class usually start at 8.00 a.m (that's better actually). The thing is, the latest class here finish at 8.00 pm, whereas in Depok, the latest class i guess finish on 6.30 or 7 pm, something like that (this one is not good).

After the class, i planned to go to the Student Information Center which is apart from my faculty in Roetersstraat. I tried to take a walk, but it seems to cold for me to continue my journey since it is raining. Then I initiated to take the metro (subway) from Waterlooplein to Neiuwmarkt. It works, basically. But, after i got off the Niuewmarkt station, i have to go to the direction that i thought i knew. Again, i have to stop by in front of a kiosk because the fcuking rain. All i wore today is just a polo shirt and my became-favorite all season jacket. Jeans and a pair of white Converse. I walked through some narrow street and i got a bit lost. Guess where i've been ? Yes, it's redlights. Shit. It is 11.30 in the middle of the day, it is cold outside, and i got lost in redlights ! perfect. There are already some girls trying to market themselves in this very early and rainy afternoon ! Moreover, of course, the smell of marijuana is always around the redlights.

After i changed my appointment with the city's government regarding to my residence permit, i should go to Central Station to take the bus home. I am just too lazy and too miserly to spend an Euro to go by tram to central. In fact, it is not that far, by the way. Therefore, i have to bear the consequence of getting wet because of the rain is came again. WTF ! It is raining, stop, sun light, raining again, heavy wind blow, raining again, sun light again, and raining again. Oh my God, this city is having odd weather as they said on the Cultureshock! book i read. This time is no mercy, i am freezing. My jeans is wet, my shoe and shocks is wet, and of course, my nose it totally wet. I would like to buy an umbrella, and i saw people having problem with theirs, then i thought that in these days, there is no such good enough umbrella to bear the wind.

In spite of the odd weather, i started to fall in love with the city. It is just a perfect combination of urban living and the settings of classical and historical city of Amsterdam. The city is living. Street performance in Dam Square and Museumplein, fresh flower seller in the sidewalks, hot coffee smell in pedestrian, buzzing bicycle in the street, it is totally nice in its own fashion. I went inside two bookstores and two shopping center on my way back home just to avoid the rain. I took the bus, and by the time i get off the bus, yes, it is raining again.

That's the story of my day for today. How's yours ?

Nasih Anak Rantau - Chapter 1

Last night was my first night staying at my dorm room. And this very morning is my first ever sahur being alone. I get used being away from home during my time in Depok, but, at least during Ramadhan, i always have friends to go sahur together. On this point, i miss Zilqi and Budi so much ;D

Moreover, last night, i finally met my flat-mate. He is an Italian, named Daniele. And guess what, he cook. Great right ? He told me that almost Italians can cook. He seems nice, not so messy with things, and tidy enough. Well, i assume that he is as tidy as me ;P

This very morning i just put some pre-cooked rice and semur daging to the microwave. Waiting like five minutes, then i ready to eat. Sitting alone at the dinner table while looking a cruise ship passing by in the front of my window. I enjoyed with to the fullest. Although it would be a lot better if i have my mother, siblings or friends here.. Haha..

It's Summer, and it's Ramadhan.

This is my first Ramadhan ever in Europe. Totally different settings of environment to do fasting here. Since it is summer, the day last for a longer period. We start sahur at around 4.15 in the morning, then the subuh prayer start at 4.25. The fasting itself last for about 16 hours. The maghrib time is at around 21.00, when you finally get sunset. What a period if i compared with my fasting time in Indonesia that only last for at max around 13 hours. That's for the physical side.

Moreover, from the psychological side, it isn't get any better. Again, it is summer, people ! Beaches are packed with people sun bathing under the clear sky. And yes, bikinis. Sometimes topless. That's what i got here. So, this is a brand new experience for have fasting here in Europe. Just enjoy and endure ! Hahaha..

Fortunately, i have relatives here in Amsterdam who closely involved in Indonesian Masjid nearby the area where they lived. Therefore, i could still hear the adzan, somehow. Doing tarawih, if i wanna. And ofcourse, break the fast with free.. ;D

Happy fasting, people !

The Honeymoon before the Homesick

Today I went to den hagg reporting to Indonesian embassy regarding my arrival here. Well, den hagg is just like one hour or one hour from and half by train or car, but today, I went there by motorcycle !

Not like my ride with motorcycle in Jakarta, my ride here is officially a motorcycle ride. Wearing a full package safety jacket including the pant, and full face and locked helmet. I get used to ride for like 80-100 km/hour with my scooter or motor bebek back there in Jakarta. But riding for 80-100 km/h with Honda CBR 600R is another story. With those huge 600 cc of engine, you can really feel the torque and the acceleration and also the wind.

Indeed, the journey to den hagg with motorcycle is almost the same time compared to with car or train. In most of European country, motorcycles are allowed to enter the highway. And then for the first time, I was riding in the back seat but I have to dealt with a very strong wind that made me having neck-ache. ;D

After finished the “lapor diri” thing in the embassy, I prefer to go to the Schaveningen beach to enjoy the view before the Ramadhan start. Come on guys, you know what I mean. ;P Today is a very bright summer day, temperature is nice for sun bathing. And yes, here in Schaveningen, today I got the view. Some bikinis girls and few topless women laying in the beach. Not bad for a honeymoon phrase before Ramadhan. The Honeymoon just before the Homesick.

D-1

I opened my eyes this morning at around 7.30AM, then i recognized that i only had about five hours of sleep. Last night, i went out with few best friends from high school to a movie to watch Pelham 123 then continued with some late night conversations.

I will depart by tomorrow. And by the time i woke up this morning, i realized how much i love my current life. For sure, my life isn't perfect. Though, i can say that i really enjoy every single pieces of my life recently. Then i realized how lovely it feels to have a loving-although-not-perfect family. A superb mother, really hard working father, unique siblings, great-and-supportive friends, challenging-and-dynamic study environment of FEUI, relatively cheap living expense in Depok, and not necessarily say the decent facilities given. I think it is save for me to say that i feel content with my life and i think it's enough for now. It is my comfort zone.

Then the question raised is that, "why bother to move, brother ?". Sometimes i also rose this basic question to my self. Why bother to leave if you already contented with your current life condition ? sometimes, i had no answer. but most of the time i answered it with "to be better".

Therefore, the definition on "be better" may vary from person to person. We could be better in any aspects of our life. Then, let's scrutinize it to the phrase of "a better future". How do you define "a better future" ? does it means being wealthier, smarter, happier or what ?

With no intentions of being cocky (although it still sounds cocky), Faculty of Economics - University of Indonesia already promised me more than just a decent future of life. And i thought it already offered me more than what does it takes to succeed in the jungle of Indonesian economic and business community. It's like a passport to excel for some reason.

It's a mini Harvard of Indonesia.

Not necessarily saying the magical-and-somehow-collusive connections of the yellow jackets thingy. But yes, it really works, fellas. To be more cocky, let me share you some potential highlights of FEUI. We have both international and national superb caliber of networks. You'll never know who the hell would standing in the front of your class as the lecturer.

He/she could be a minister, businessman, entrepreneur, economist, statistician, mathematician, or even a financial market bastard.

the same thing applies for your fellow friends. You'll never know who they would be in the next five years. So basically, FEUI is a perfect networking field for me.

Then most of you including me will ask, "hey fella, with those good damn things in ur life, aren't you should think that's enough ?". It maybe yes, maybe no. I don't want to stay in my comfort zone for too long. Since i believed that people who never leave their comfort zone would never succeed. So, it's all about leaving your comfort zone. Well, it is also a part of a bigger system malfunction that effect my life. Why ? maybe i can say that if Universitas Indonesia (UI) that almost every indonesian citizens be proud of is ranked among world's top 50 universities, then i don't have to bother to take off my ass abroad. As i cockily elaborated, FEUI already gives me more than what does it takes to succeed. at least, locally.

But most of the times, people are never satisfied. We were born with needs, wants, obsessions. And especially for me, i was born with dreams.

Yes dude, it's dreams that take me to where i've been right now. As Anis Baswedan PhD, said as his life philosophy, "I have a dream, and I share my dream". It perfectly suits me. Men are measures by what he dreams of. For me, dreaming is self-actualizing. There is no boundaries to dream.

To wrap up, i'm moving because of four reasons. First, i have to leave my comfort zone. Second, i am about to chase my dream. Third, i am actualizing my self. And fourth, yes, i am not enough, yet. Being competent locally is not enough for the prudent-and-cocky Arif Nindito. I want to compete globally. And the only way to do so is by going global.

Studying abroad will never promised you a happier life. Although maybe, just maybe, a more rewarding income. Being happy is not necessarily the same as being wealthy. It depends on what values you hold. So many people are damn rich but they are not happy.

Studying abroad, ideally, would gives you more holistic perspectives. It will shape the way you see things that finally leads to more knowledges. And believe it or not, knowledge leads to power. But once again it depends on the person. Only people who willing to learn will learn, otherwise, they will never actually learn although they seem like so.

In the end, as Uncle Ben in the spiderman said,

"With great power must come great responsibility"

Since knowledge leads to power, then come the responsibility. Knowledge demands for application. Having much knowledges without apply it to the society is useless. According to prophet Muhammad SAW, the greatest men ever is the men who could be useful for others. Then it's our call, with knowledge we can be useful for the society or be useless for them. We think, we act.

It's already more than lengthy as a blog post, but i just burst it off from my vigorous mind. I have to finish some immigration matters and more importantly finish to pack my luggage. That's it for this woke up blog post.

--

For the people i care and love for the most,

Arif Nindito.